Heated Hurricane
by Nature9000
Summary: As Sinjin struggles to gain a sense of belonging and to control his emotions, he battles thoughts of attacking the one responsible for pain and suffering. Triggered, he comes close to breaking the highest rule. Will he succumb to the hurricane that is his inner emotions, or will he be able to calm his own storm to be the supportive hand that his girlfriend needs in this time?


Heated Hurricane

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: This oneshot is a bit…well it deals with a serious subject. Anyway, read on, it is in Sinjin's perspective because it needs to be.

* * *

-WHEN CONTROLLING THE HURRICANE OF EMOTIONS-

In the window pane of his living room, Sinjin watched as violent rain beat against house. The howling of the wind could be heard from outside, and the crashing of thunder seemed to make a sound like someone stomping on the roof. His brow furrowed as his fingers curled on his keyboard, his nails scraping the keys-nearly snapping off bits of his cuticles in the process.

As loud as this storm was, it could not drown out that came from the bedroom. _"Trina…" _What was it about this day that made his blood curdle and the bile tighten around his stomach only to rise up and choke him in his throat?

On the laptop screen was a familiar face of a man built like a jock and with a short buzz cut hairstyle. He had a firm jaw and dark blue eyes. His lip curved into a smirk that sickened Sinjin to the core.

Every year, the same routine. Trina was now twenty years old, and three years later, this man's memory haunted her-haunted him. He wanted to drown out her cries, as they only made his pain worse. She knew he loved her, and he always would, and she knew he would always be there for her no matter what-but sometimes she acted like she didn't believe his love was real. It scared him.

For three years he contemplated how things could have changed, how things could have been different. Maybe if he hadn't been so stupid as to let _him _take her out first-maybe if he hadn't been so worried about ruining their friendship by asking her out.

No, what could would that do?

Here he was, unable to stop the one thing he knew was wrong. Obsessively stalking this man's Facebook. His eyelids creased as his nose twisted into a violent sneer. Disgust rose in him and his hands started to tremble. "S-Sinjin?" Instantly he flipped off the Facebook and turned to see Trina walking slowly into the room.

She had a long gown on and her scraggly hair shielded her red face. He set the laptop to the side and rose up, stepping forward as he looked into her eyes. "Trina." He reached out to her, careful not to do anything to ignite another terrifying flashback for either of them.

"I looked for you, you weren't there."

"I'm sorry. I'm here now." She moved her arms around his waist and tangled her fingers in the bottom of his shirt. Her face burrowed into his chest as her tears drenched his shirt. His heart pounded as pain coursed through him. Slowly he lifted his hand up to her back and held her tight. "I have you, you're safe." The lightning flashed and Trina started to tense.

"W-What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Then why does this keep happening? It's not the storm either."

"I know. I'm here." He gently kissed the top of her head and let her move her head onto his shoulder. He could feel her body shivering with his. She trusted him, and he would never do anything to knowingly harm her. He'd been with her through it all. Every time her sister's friends pushed her, every flashback she ever had, he would be the one to be there for her.

Tori didn't know, Trina's parents didn't know. She was scared of what they'd say, of what they'd think she was. He told her time and time again, but she refused to believe. She was terrified they'd think she was so willing to give herself to her boyfriend, or at least, she was deathly afraid Tori would tell her friends and they would just mock her. It didn't extend to just that group, it was everyone.

For some reason he didn't understand, this anniversary had been particularly violent. He thought they were making a breakthrough, but something caused her to panic, and she wouldn't tell him what it was.

It terrified him. How could he be there for her? How could he protect her if he didn't know what he was protecting her _from?_ All she ever asked from him was that he be there, that he be at her side. Inside, he wanted to do so much more than that. He wanted to hunt the man down, to gouge out his eyes.

Worse yet, and the thought that frightened him the most. He wanted to mutilate the fucker. To tear out the man's testicles and shove them down his throat.

This would be unacceptable, because from his own research on the subject he knew the number one thing for someone in his situation to never do was to make any kind of contact whether threatening or nonthreatening to the attacker.

A flash of lightning struck, blowing out the lights. In an instant, Trina's body froze and grew incredibly tense. Sinjin's eyes widened as his dog yelped and a crash erupted nearby. Instantly, Trina screamed and pushed him away, dropping to her knees and clutching her head.

"Trina!" He fell onto the floor and looked up as she continued wailing, crying out and begging for someone to stop. His heart began racing as adrenaline and pain rushed through his veins.

He wanted to run to her, but from what she told him and what he learned on internet forums and support groups, sudden movements were a terrible idea. He slowly approached her, softening his voice as he spoke to her. "Trina. Trina, it's just me, Sinjin."

"No! No…" She hugged herself, weeping bitterly as he reached out to her. Her eyes shot open and she instantly smacked his arm away. "Get away!" He fell back, wide eyed as Trina made a sudden gasp. Her hand trembled as she moved it to her lips. "Oh god…Sinjin, I'm sorry! I didn't…I didn't mean it."

His features softened as she crawled towards him. "It's okay." She leaned into him and he moved an arm around her shoulders, holding onto her protectively. "You're safe. It was just the lightning and my dog, that's all. You're safe. Nothing's going to happen to you here, you can trust me…"

"R-Ross…." His chest strained and he gazed down to her as she shook her head and slowly wiped her eyes. "It was dark-the lights, he turned them off. I felt him rush at me and he ran into something else…I think it was a lamp, a vase, I-" Her face tensed and her hands clutched her head as she started to sob once again.

"It's okay." His lips tightened as he gazed off at the window. "You don't need to tell me anything that you're not ready to. I love you, okay?" She nodded slowly and moved her head beneath his chin.

` The next day things were a bit calmer, while Trina was busy at her house, doing homework there-he was out driving. The sun was high in the sky, the clouds were gone, and the air was crisp and cool. The reason Trina had been at his house the night before was the same as it always had been for the last three years, she felt comfortable there with him instead of at her own home.

It happened there. He didn't want to think that something so virulent, so violent could happen under the Vega roof. If David or Holly knew, god only knows how they would react.

He was tempted to tell them, but it would be a betrayal of Trina's trust. Besides, he was what the forums dubbed a 'second hand victim'. A friend, a relative, a lover-anyone that knew or cared about the victim. The rage they felt, the rage he felt, it was as real as what the victim goes through. Many of the similar emotions and hesitancies arise as well, such as the desire that nobody else knows because of the apprehensions that come.

It was his fear that someone would know and call her a 'whore', and what he would do if he heard that statement. Nobody needed to know what happened to her, and as for her family, they only needed to know when Trina felt ready to tell them.

He thought she was brave to be able to remain in that house, but she wanted to leave it as soon as she could. She had to force Tori to change bedrooms with her-the girl thought she was just trying to get attention-but she wasn't. Regardless, Tori moved all of her things into Trina's room, and Trina moved what she could manage into Tori's.

Certain things, like her once favorite bedsheet-the clothes she'd been wearing, she threw out. Much to her family's astonishment. Sinjin helped her to remove all the things that could trigger her flashbacks-but it didn't help his own.

When it happened, he was the first person she contacted. The Vegas had all been at a movie and she couldn't be alone.

He arrived at the house as soon as he could and found her kneeling on the ground, and it did not take long for him to learn what had occurred. The anger and the fear he felt that night never truly went away. He had to cancel everything he was doing that night, from running an errand for Sikowitz to telling Robbie to find another person to help with the puppet act.

Sinjin drove slowly down the empty streets of a classy looking neighborhood, his throat burned with bile as he slowed his car to a stop before a large yellow brick house with a brown roof. Anger and hatred flourished in him as he studied a swaying curtain in the house's window. His nostrils flared once more and he looked directly ahead, slowly pushing on the gas pedal. "Fucking bastard…"

As he sped off, his text alert on the phone went off. He turned the corner and parked in the shade of a large tree before checking the phone. It was from Beck.

His eyes drifted up for a moment, then back down as his thumb hovered over the message button. A strange feeling was creeping over him as he contemplated whether or not to check the text. He didn't really like Beck all that much, never got along with the guy. Even before meeting the Vega family, he didn't like the guy-so why in the hell was Beck sending him a text?

Something was wrong.

His hairs began to stand on end as paranoia grabbed his throat. When he read the message, Beck was saying for him to call him. So he did. "What's going on?" Sinjin asked coldly.

"I wanted to run something by you. You and Trina are an item, right?"

"Wouldn't use the phrase 'item', but yes we are dating…"

"Did she date someone else before you?"

"Yes." He paused for a minute and silence surrounded him as only the sound of his heartbeat came to his ears. Trina dated Ross for a week-and never told anyone about him except her own family. "What about it?"

"Some guy is saying he dated her a while back and…that he got her to sleep with him. Is that true?" And suddenly the blue sky was painted red, lightning flashed in his mind as his rage increased with fire.

"No!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "That never fucking happened, and I swear-" He stopped himself before making the threat. His breath whistled through his teeth as his chest and nostrils flared violently. He struggled to calm himself down, not wanting to give Beck any further questions. "Beck. Please do not bring this up with anyone else, got it?"

"Um? Okay? I mean I wanted to ask Tori, but since you're Trina's boyfriend…"

"No. Don't bother her with it. Don't bother Trina either, that man is a liar. Trina would never willingly sleep with someone like that. It never happened." It wasn't that he was in denial. No, he passed that stage long ago. He simply could not tell Beck what happened to Trina, he couldn't betray her confidence like that. "You just keep your mouth shut. I will talk to her, okay?"

"Okay, sorry, jesus. Don't bite my head off."

"Look." He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. "I'm sorry for shouting. It's not directed at you, I promise. Who's this guy?"

"Ross…Ross Campbell? Some college guy that came to visit his friends the other day. They're seniors now and they were talking about Trina. I overheard them, but I'm pretty sure no one else did-they didn't even believe him either. Said she was too much of a prude for that or something."

_Prude?!_ He growled vehemently and instantly hung up the phone, unwilling to hear anymore. His rage was at boiling point. He knew he should talk to Trina, but he was scared himself to bring it up to her.

Instead, he opted for another action, flying further and further out of control.

An hour later he returned to the house with his uncle's gun in his pocket. His body trembled as he stood before the door of the house, struggling against every instinct trying to pull him away. He pounded his fist on the door until Ross finally opened it.

"Hello? What is your problem?" The man stood before him, raising an eyebrow. "Who are you?" Sinjin's muscles tensed as he took a slow step back. Seeing this man's face, his anger and hatred turned to disgust and fear.

What the hell was he doing? This was the one thing he should never do, confronting the man! He saw Ross's eyes fall to the gun, then the man's face started to pale. "Is that…a gun?"

"I don't know. It's got a hole. Maybe stick your dick in it and see what happens." Ross's eyebrows rose as Sinjin fantasized about shoving the pistol down the man's throat. His chest heaved as his eyes became bloodshot. "I know what kind of man you are. What you've been doing. One day-one day someone's going to catch you."

"What are you talking about?"

His trembling hand hovered over the gun. If he killed him now, it would devastate Trina. The survivor never wants someone to get hurt because of them, to get in trouble because of them-and if he did this now-he may as well turn the gun upon himself.

This wasn't his job. This wasn't what he was supposed to do. His phone went off once more and his gaze snapped to his pocket. Ross stepped back into the house and grasped the door. "I'm going to close the door now." Sinjin shot a glare at him and Ross quickly fled inside.

Staring the devil in the eyes, Sinjin came to the singlemost fascinating realization: The Devil was a coward. A weak, sniveling coward-and Sinjin was stronger than him. Stronger than this, this person that stood before the devil with a gun. What would murder prove? It would only make things worse, and show him to be just as much of a coward as Ross.

Perhaps it was that Ross was terrified of guns, and maybe there was a reason, but Sinjin didn't care. He grabbed his phone and slowly made his way to the car, still trying to recover from the shock of what he'd been tempted to do. "H-Hello?" He leaned over the hood of his car and moved his fingertips to his eyes, rubbing them.

"Sinjin, it's Trina. I need you…"

"Trina? What is it? I'll be right there." He made his way to the driver's side of his car and started it up.

"Just be safe. I'll tell you when you get here, okay? Please hurry…"

It didn't take long to get there, still trembling with anxiety he ran three red lights and sped through one school zone to reach her. Amazingly he didn't receive any tickets.

When he parked in front of her house, he saw her standing on the front lawn. As he left the car, she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. "I'm glad you're here…"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Well…" Trina looked to her front door and sniffled as he followed her gaze. "I-I think I'm ready to talk about it. About…my r-rape." The word struck him to his core, they'd never been able to say the word as if acknowledging that it had actually happened. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly. "The counselor at school-she says I need…I need to accept it-it happened and as much as I-I don't like it I have to…"

"I understand."

"I'm going to tell mom and dad, Tori too." He smiled at her and nodded approvingly.

"That's a very brave thing for you to do. You're strong, you know that?"

"I don't know…but I know he hurt another girl." His heart sank as Trina started to rub her arms. "I talked with her and…well she asked me if I would testify what he did to me." Her voice broke and he hugged her close. After a few silent sobs, Trina pulled away and slowly walked with him towards the door. "I have to tell mom and dad first though because they need to know…I can't do this if…they don't know."

"You're absolutely certain you're ready?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm here for you. I need to be honest though…" Trina turned around and looked up at him with sad eyes. His eyelids closed down and he soon was ashamed of himself. "I almost…broke that rule…"

"What?"

"Beck called me. Told me what happened the other day. Ross was at the school-"

"Bragging, I know." Her eyes fell and her already puffy eyes and cheeks moistened with another tear. "That's why I was so shaken up last night, Sinjin…I couldn't take it…"

"Trina, I almost confronted him." She froze, her eyes filling with fear and concern as she looked up at him. "I stood there, staring right in his face-and I…I couldn't do it…" He held his breath as she moved a hand up over her lips. "I'm sorry. I let you down."

"Couldn't do…what?"

"I was so angry."

"Sinjin?"

"I wanted to kill him. I wanted to put him away for everything he did…I walked away. He doesn't even know who I am or that I'm your boyfriend. I just-I'm sorry." He looked into her eyes and frowned as she reached over and took his hand. She slowly leaned up, kissing his cheek-much to his shock.

"It's okay. You're being honest, I appreciate that. Just…I'm glad you didn't do anything." She hugged him and choked out a single sob. "If you…If something happened to you….I need you here, for me."

"Then I'll be right here. I promise you, I won't make that mistake again."

"Good…" She leaned back and looked into his eyes with a soft, but saddened smile. "Can we just go inside now? I-I told mom and dad I wanted to talk to them. So…let's just…please…"

"I'm here." He took a deep breath and nodded as she moved her hand to the doorknob. If she was going to do this, then he was ready. She was strong enough, he could see it, and he admired and respected her greatly for it. From what it appeared, Ross was indeed going to get caught for his crimes. There wasn't any need to worry, because the monster would be off the streets now.

It was going to take a long time, but he knew Trina could and would heal. As would he. He still wished Ross was dead, he hated the man more than anything in life and had lumped him with every other sex offender in the nation. The one group of people that he deemed unredeemable, the only group of people that he actually hated deep within.

But at least he would never try to confront him again. He knew his place. Studying the living room, he saw David in the recliner, Tori on the far end of the couch, and Holly standing beside her husband. Trina sat on the couch, and Sinjin sat beside her.

This was exactly where he belonged, and now that he had a firmer grasp of the emotions that had been churning inside of him, he could be a better supporter for her. She needed him more than she wanted revenge, and he needed to be by her side more than he needed that revenge that he'd fantasized about. Maybe eventually the hatred would go away, but for now, more important things were needed.

He felt Trina take his hand and squeeze it, beckoning for his support. In return, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and looked out to the curious family. "You can do this," he whispered softly, "You know they're going to be behind you as well."

"I know…" He could see the fear in her eyes, but there was also a new spark. Perhaps it was placed there by this girl that revealed what Ross had done to her as well. This spark was confidence, a confidence that Sinjin loved to see.

Yes, everything was going to be just fine.

* * *

That's as much of the oneshot I could do, I felt it was fine to end it there. That's where it needs to end. You know, this is what second hand victims deal with-and sometimes it is a bit of a fantasy to confront the attacker-but yet that is truly the one thing you must never do. The emotions, everything is truly indescribable.


End file.
